Writing these blogs sometimes feels like a kick in the head! (And here you thought you’d be reading some nicey-nice Christian piece!) I know my turn at writing the blog is coming sometimes a month or more in advance, so I spend that entire time fretting about it! It’s not the writing itself that’s difficult; grammar and editing don’t seem to be much of a problem for me. No! It’s the introspection that kills me!
My life is usually just putting one foot in front of the other: home chores, work tasks, sewing projects, ChristCare books to read and reflect upon, praying for folks, etc. But, then, I stumble and have to ask myself, “Emily, what’s really on your mind? It’s time to write your blogpost!” So I go through a good part of my days thinking inwardly. I don’t happen to think that’s terribly healthy. But, I set about the task of determining a topic on which to write.
Okay, so my mom’s voice has been echoing through my head, “Pride goeth before the fall, Emily.” You see, I was just bragging (yes, in retrospect, it was bragging) to a friend that since my third back surgery, which was a fusion, my spine has been so very stable, that I often forget that I even have back problems. It was just three days later when I awoke from a sound sleep with extreme sciatic pain in my hip! After ten days of marked limping, I finally feel I may be on the finishing end of serving my penance! I could write about pride (Proverbs 16:18).
Or, my beautiful petunia baskets sent me on a roller coaster ride of emotions! Really! You see, I looked at them closely and realized that while they look full and lush, they’re actually nearing the end of their life cycle: the blooms on the inner stems are finished, only the outer portions are blooming. Hm, summer must be drawing to a close. Yup, those basil and mint have probably been headed for the last time this year. Snap out of it, Emily! You’ve enjoyed some delicious pesto dishes, mojitos, and tea with those spices. Appreciate what you have! I’ve had a good life; wait a minute: I’m still having a good life! Summer’s drawing to a close, maybe my life is, also. Ugh! Perhaps I could write about the seasons of life (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8).
Does everyone have to go through these ups and downs inside their own heads? Are there sumo wrestlers inside of everyone’s heads? If I even ask the question aloud, will I be judged? Isn’t my life normally quite even-keel? I have a pretty easy life: great husband, nice home, my health, friends and family, job and church I love, etc. Why do I sometimes torture myself with uncertainty: am I financially stable enough, will my heart give out like my folks, are my friends rejecting me, is my job secure? As I write them, they sound ridiculous for me to be wasting time on, but my mind goes there anyway. Maybe I could write about self-doubt (Titus 2, Matthew 14:31).
I just need to knock off this trip of introspection and get on with my life! Today’s my 16th anniversary; Tom and I will celebrate our marriage over dinner with long-time friends. Maybe I’ll bake his favorite huckleberry pie for dessert. The tomatoes are ripe; I’ll pick some cherry tomatoes for snacking and Cougar Reds and Early Girls for sauce. The basil will flavor it nicely. And, I’ll continue work on niece Becca’s baby quilt so it’ll be ready when her son is born. I get to learn more about Rahab as I read and reflect on our latest ChristCare study. I will witness the many wonderful Deacons and other church volunteers this week as they prepare to give away an enormous amount of clothes to needy folks in our community.
I think what’s really on my mind is that my life is blessed beyond measure! Sure, I have my ups and downs, but I want to focus on my blessings with a grateful heart! After all, God loves me unconditionally! What else do I have to fear? The lovely King James version of the 23rd Psalm soothes my soul:
1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
Ah, writing a blogpost isn’t all that difficult after all; now, is it, Emily?
Your friend in Christ,