Wow, another year come and gone! They seem to disappear a little faster each year. 2017 was a pretty good year. I was blessed with good health (a few bumps here and there), a roof over my head, food on the table, and surrounded by some amazing people! Yet, that feeling of contentment and true happiness seem to be just out of my grasp. I had to ask myself why? After some pretty difficult reflection, I realized that my life has been buried under a big pile of lies and that I have not been truthful with myself. It’s always been so much easier to be honest with others then recognize the truth about myself which then leads to the two biggest lies that I tell myself;
Lie #1: It’s not that bad! The reality, yes it is! Whether it be a relationship, my health or some other aspect of my life, I’m afraid to face the reality because it is just to difficult and painful. It’s so much easier to “sweep it under the rug” rather then admit just how bad it is.
Lie #2: I can’t because …. I’m afraid, not smart enough, not good enough, the list goes on and on! This one is the biggest one for me. That “fear” again, ugh! My head tells me that this is the one that causes those walls to go up and really hinders any growth, change and that sense of contentment and happiness.
No more! I have resolved to work hard at tearing down that wall and stop hiding behind the lies. I will tell myself the truth, the whole “warts and all” truth! I know I will need guidance during this journey so every day I will say one of my favorite prayers…
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting the He will make all things right if I surrender to His will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.