In the Light

Does anyone remember the song from way back in 1995 by DC Talk, “In the Light?”

Last night this song popped into my head. It’s a song I haven’t heard in decades, but one I used to know well. I cannot say that this song popped into my head randomly; it was actually very relevant to the current moment I am in, and God always seems to talk to me in songs. 
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Jenny Shotwell

Songs are a lot like books. I’m learning that as life goes on and you gather more and more experiences, the songs and books you once knew take on entirely new meanings and really ought to be revisited. 

I recently reread Gone with the Wind and The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough) and, 25 years later, these books were almost as if I had never read them. 25 years of life brings with it so much -- grief, love, success, sadness, terrible mistakes, wonderful triumphs — I think we can sum all these up into the word “wisdom”. Having more wisdom than I did 25 years ago (I hope so!) puts books and certainly songs into new perspectives worth revisiting. 

Currently, I’m helping a dear friend move through some challenges and grief. One of the fallouts from some bad choices they have made is the feelings of unworthiness and deep shame. Pastor McLane gave a wonderful sermon on Sunday concerning self-control. One thing he said stuck with me as I was talking with my friend. Essentially, instead of dwelling or living in the shame and “why” of certain actions, Christ wants us to walk into the light and life He has planned for us. 

That really resonated with me. To me, this is a perspective issue — a glass half full or half empty thought, if you will. We can sit and feel shame as a way of paying our pittance for our sins, whatever they may be, or we can walk with hope and love into the GRACE that Christ has freely given us. He has a life for us — one removed from shame and feelings of unworthiness — we just have to accept it and focus on that. Dwelling in shame and unworthiness is not the life Christ wants for us. 

As I was having this discussion with my hurting friend this week, I tried to convey those thoughts. When discussing this concept, this song by DC Talk popped right back into my head.  And honestly, I have not heard or thought about this song in at least twenty years. It was a magic light bulb, and it felt so relevant that I’m sure God planted it in my head for that moment and person. If only to offer one more opportunity for relation and perspective. 

These lyrics and the words of Pastor McLane are relevant and helpful as I help my friend navigate a difficult time, but they are also a blessing to me. It is a deeply human experience to feel shame and unworthiness -- something all of us can relate to at some point in our lives. It is hard to change our focus, and look for the life Christ has planned for us. Why do I deserve that? But I do. We all do. Because Jesus says so.

Songs have always reached beyond where my own words can. People who have gone through similar circumstances bring their words and their stories to life for not only themselves but for others to resonate with.  As life moves along, sometimes the right song or the right story comes back around for just the right moment. 

I’m hopeful that maybe these lyrics will resonate with you in whatever you are uniquely going through, as I pray they will -- even if in a small way -- for my friend as well. And yes, even for myself.

In His Name, Jenny

In the Light (link to recording)
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I keep trying to find a life
On my own, apart from you
I am the king of excuses
I've got one for every selfish thing I do

What's going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a savior

I wanna be in the Light as you are in the light
I wanna shine like the stars in the heavens
Oh, Lord, be my light and be my salvation
'Cause all I want is to be in the light
All I want is to be in the light

The disease of self runs through my blood
It's a cancer fatal to my soul
Every attempt on my behalf has failed
To bring this sickness under control

I wanna be in the light as you are in the light
I wanna shine like the stars in the heavens
Oh, Lord, be my light and be my salvation
'Cause all I want is to be in the light (yeah)
All I want is to be in the light

Honesty becomes me (there's nothing left to lose)
The secrets that did run me (in Your presence are diffused)
Pride has no position (and riches have no worth)
The fame that once did cover me (has been sentenced to this Earth)
Has been sentenced to this Earth