Porcupine Partners

Recently, I stumbled upon a YouTube video of a porcupine family fighting off a leopard. The porcupine family consisted of two parents and two babies. The leopard was clearly after the easy prey of the young ones for his afternoon snack. The parents would puff out their quills and back up on the cat as the babies ducked close to their parents. The parents and children seemed to move as one unit. The big cat darted to and fro and often tried to reach in between the parents to  

Bonnie Piovesan

snatch one of the babies. In the end, the leopard wandered off still hungry and with a few souvenir quills as the four porcupines huddled close together, safe and sound. The interaction between these animals was like a dance and fight mixed into one. It was as if everyone knew their part and understood that any deviation from the plan would result in fatal consequences.

This short video reminded me of the power of a family. We are all too familiar with the pain of family these days. Broken promises and broken hearts are scattered all over our world. It seems like most people agree that families are a source of strength and the bedrock of a healthy society, and yet many of us have lost trust in our own families. The result is many broken-hearted people and lots of fat leopards.

In any culture, there are evil forces that seek out easy prey for their own needs. Scammers who prey on the elderly. Title and payday loan places that prey on the desperate. Corrupt leaders who prey on their people for power. Human traffickers who prey on the vulnerable. “Noble” causes that sow hate and prey on the disillusioned. Too many things to list that prey on innocent children. It seems we can’t even go to the local store without some leopard hiding in the aisle.
 
These little porcupines inspired me once again to value the power of a family. I understand all too well the hurt that surrounds the word family. Yet, I have also known the beauty and strength of having a good family. My family is a diverse mixture of relatives and friends. Many therapists call this a support system. I have had to learn over the years how to depend on the right family members when leopards are on the move. In a fight, I want to be working as a team with those I trust.
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So, how do we begin to find those who are ready to be a family and work together? Here are a few suggestions from my few years on this earth. 

1. Ask God for help. The biggest change in my life was letting God into my life as the leader. Learning to trust God opened the door to trusting humanity again. Becoming familiar with God and His goodness helped me to identify what was truly good and what was not. Learning more about God’s word and His character gave me the courage to face the world around me. 
   
   
2. Learn the difference between blame and responsibility. I have some very precious people in my life who are toxic. For a long time, I really wrestled with the idea of blaming others, and so I took all of the responsibility on myself. I did not want to blame these dear ones for my life, as it felt like a betrayal in some way. Instead, I needed to learn how to take responsibility for my own stuff and allow others to be responsible for their stuff. When we let go of blame and allow responsibility to rest on the correct person, we begin to find freedom. 
   
   
3. Learn how to identify trustworthiness. I trust lots of things around me, but I am not a very trusting person. I trust the sun to rise, the stoplights to work, and taxes to be an eternal drag. But I have to work hard on trusting people. I have had to learn what a trustworthy person looks like. A trustworthy person is not perfect, but they are not toxic. Think of a rainstorm vs a tornado. Both will have rain and wind, but one is good for us, and one is nothing but random destruction. 
   
   
4. Learn to be a teammate. Learning to trust others is no easy task if you have been shattered by life. Sometimes it is even harder to become trustworthy ourselves. The beauty of this porcupine family is how they all worked together. Those of us who have lost trust in humanity for whatever reason need to learn how to work with others. Sometimes this means not engaging with the toxic and being humble so we can learn from the healthy people in our lives. 
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5. Grow a healthy family. Your family may be full of hurting people, but I assure you the world is bigger than any one family. If your relatives are not able to help you fight off the leopards of life, or if they are the leopards in your life, it is time to find more family members. I call this a support structure. My support structure has thankfully been found in my church. I have friends from church, friends from work, and friends from social opportunities I have engaged with. I have friends who are acquaintances, and I am happy to share in an outing or a meal together. I have friends who are closer and with whom I trust with deeper things. I am blessed to have friends who have become closer than any brother or sister.

​All of these suggestions take time and sacrifice, but the results are amazing. Take a chance on finding your porcupine family, and when leopards come to steal away your joy and life, you will find you are not alone and that the leopard is the one who has to flee. 

In His Name, Bonnie
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Watch Porcupine Parents Protect Babies from Leopard Here:
https://youtu.be/Aoh7j46xleE