Sonny and Carla

​Millions of people have heard of Sonny and Cher. A whole generation enjoyed their zany outfits and upbeat musical numbers. Their names are so well known that they are often a symbol of things that go together. But only a handful of people in southern Ohio have ever heard of Sonny and Carla. 

​In the early 2000s, my husband and I worked at a horse ranch that ministered to troubled youth. All of the horses and 

Bonnie Piovesan

animals were donated from various families or training stables. Mostly retired show horses that the owners could not bear to put down but were well past any use. The idea of their beloved horse roaming in some beautiful pasture, ministering to a troubled youth was a lovely picture. The reality was many of the horses were not fit to be around youth, especially those with trouble regulating their emotions. We received many a temperamental horse that would rather kick a kid than let them go for a ride.

So, it was no big surprise when one nice, fall day we had a group of excited board members and donors show up with a new set of horses. The trailer backed up and Dean and I were standing by with lead ropes and fresh stalls ready for our next set of retired show horses. Out stepped two breathtaking Friesian horses with their manes flowing in the wind, Sonny and Carla. We were encouraged that these were not the normal worn-out show horses so often donated to the ranch. Friesians are an expensive breed of draft horse known for their beauty and gentleness. Our board members were very excited that such expensive horses had been donated to the ranch and we were instructed to give Sonny and Carla nothing but the best of care and attention. The hope was that Sonny and Carla would be used to teach youth how to ride and to train the pair to pull carriages for ranch events.

The next week we started work by doing simple ground exercises with each horse to get to know them better. Sonny was a younger male who wanted to be the boss and Carla was the older mare who was the boss. The two were inseparable, but they would push each other around nonstop. Carla by herself was a wonderful horse and took to training well. She was often used in lessons and we could always count on her to be gentle and patient. The problem was Sonny, being the bigger horse, thought he should be treated with all the respect he demanded without being expected to do any work. Sonny was gentle and would never kick or bite, he would simply refuse to move. Sonny would literally throw his weight around until he got his way. The only person who could handle him was my husband, which made Sonny useless around the kids.

We still had hope of the pair being able to be a team and pull a carriage. We were making some progress with Sonny and Carla, but more often than not we would have to separate Sonny to work out his attitude. One night we had worked with Sonny, and he seemed ready to cooperate. So, we harnessed the pair together in the arena for a short lesson. I held the reins from the ground on the inside while we worked to get the pair to walk in a circle together. They walked successfully around me a few times and we were just about to end the lesson when Sonny got in a mood. He stopped working, refused to go forward, and began backing up. In a stubborn fit, Sonny backed up, threw his weight around, and sat down, pulling the harness and bit down on Carla. I could tell Carla was hurt by her dazed expression, and Dean and I rushed to get Sonny up and tend to Carla. We got the pair unhooked, Sonny secured, and we were by Carla’s side all in a minute. When we reached Carla, to my horror, I saw that her tongue was severed almost in half from Sonny’s weight coming down on her bit. Thankfully the vet was able to come quickly and Carla was able to fully heal in time. Sonny had gotten his way again and he couldn’t care less about the damage done to Carla. This was a real-life lesson I will never forget of what unequally yoked looks like.
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In the Bible, there are a few passages that sound so harsh, one of which is in 2 Corinthians 6, where the Apostle Paul makes a reference to not being unequally yoked to someone. Some have interpreted this to mean exclusion or the ostracizing of others, that somehow, as believers, we should stay away from unbelievers, the typical us vs. them interpretation. These kinds of interpretations are the type of lazy theology that leads to self-righteousness.

Instead, let’s consider Sonny and Carla’s saga. After the accident, we did not keep Sonny and Carla separate, because they were friends. But we no longer trusted Sonny to be a teammate with Carla. Sonny refused to share the load with Carla and he always put himself first. As a believer, there are many people I cannot cut out of my life because they are my people, and I love them. They are friends, family, and neighbors. Yet some of these dear people are not my teammates. They push and pull for their own needs and rarely have the capacity to consider my needs. I can spend time with these loved ones, but when I need a teammate for heavy spiritual lifting, they are not the ones I call on. I call on the people in my life who are willing and able to pull with me. I look for those who understand the yoke of Christ and know how to use it. Prayer warriors who pray, teachers who have wisdom, friends willing to work through hard times, and compassionate people who know when to put others first. If I yoke myself to someone who is not able to pull those kinds of loads with me then one or both of us is bound to get hurt.

As you read through 2 Corinthians 6, ask God to give you insight into the people in your life who are able to be good spiritual teammates for times when you have a heavy spiritual burden. Allow those people in when the load gets heavy. Love those who, for whatever reason, are not able to be equally yoked at this time. After all, God loves them as much as He loves you. 

​In His Name, Bonnie