This Beautiful Church Family

Last fall, while I was getting coffee with the admissions director of a seminary, he asked me how I was still in the church.

Like many individuals, I have had my fair share of negative church experiences. I grew up jumping from church to church with my family, navigating poor transitions of church leadership and, as a younger student, interacting with adults who did not always protect my safety well. 

Jasmine Schmidt

​Once at Whitworth, I thought that I would be leaving my church woes behind and interacting with people who were thoughtful and encouraging in their guidance of my faith. However, I ended up within a group of people who did not see value in what I studied because of my gender and encouraged me to “stay in my place” (meaning at home). It took a lot of wrestling to get back to a place where I felt it was okay for me to study theology, a topic I am so passionate about and feel overjoyed to learn about. 

It feels like I’ve had a taste of many different church hurt experiences. 

So, while I was a bit taken aback by the admission director’s question, it was a fair one after giving my brief history of religious experience.

However, it was also a really easy question to answer.

God! Of course, God. Even through the most difficult of church transitions, I knew that God was drawing me close, healing me, and comforting me with power that is only His. When I would cry out to God, questioning if I was allowed to learn more about the One I knew and loved, it was God who put people directly in my path to walk me closer to Him. 

I have journaled to God (almost) every night since I was in eighth grade, regardless of how fulfilling or hurtful the religious people around me were. Our relationship wasn’t dependent on the people around me; it was deeply personal, and included me coming to Him with everything from what to do during the end of a friendship to what I ate for lunch that day or the socks I wanted to wear tomorrow. 

And alongside God, whom I clung to as an individual amidst difficult relationships with a church, there were also people. People who loved God and loved me well, and showed me that what others may say or do in God’s name may not be God’s work in my life. 

There were churches in my hometown that showed me love through providing mentors, friendships, and support through my childhood and teenage years. There were people at Whitworth who sat with me as I questioned my place and asked me questions to help me hear what God was asking of me. 

And I feel so lucky to be here at this church, because after only a month here, I know that this is one of those places where someone can bring their history of hurt and despair and be welcomed. They can witness a church that cares deeply about God, about community, and about loving first. 

We all carry hurt from a mishandled situation. That is simply the nature of being a part of a group of imperfect people. But one beauty of the Christian life is that you get to have a deeply personal relationship with God, and God is perfect. And through God, reconciliation is possible, even where brokenness makes it feel impossible. 

So I applaud you all for the work of this beautiful church family that you partake in, and I encourage you to grow closer to God as you recognize the hurt in your life, as well as how God has invited truth and closeness to Him through that. 

In His Name, Jasmine
​

Jesus replied, ‘What is impossible with man is possible with God.
(Luke 18:27)

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.
​ (John 15:9)