Trust & Enjoy

Recently, we had some big things happen in our lives – we, as in the Shotwell family. I think many of you who read this blog know what I’m talking about, and it only feels right as I sit down to write my blog entry for this time period, to at least reflect a little bit on all that has been happening. 

​A small back-story for those who might not be familiar with what 

Jenny Shotwell

I’m talking about – our son Clark, who you probably see wandering around the church every Sunday morning as a child of ​someone on staff … a 10-year-old boy with the cutest dimples and sweetest demeanor (when he’s not negotiating a legal battle over anything he might disagree with), was in a movie with John Travolta. He played the leading role in a film based on John’s early memories of flying as an eight-year-old boy. The movie is called Propeller One-Way Night Coach. 

It was filmed last January, which was an adventure in and of itself, but in the past month, we have traveled to France, New York, and Los Angeles for its debut. He signed autographs, conducted countless interviews with very large and prominent news outlets, received good reviews and bad reviews, and became easily searchable on the internet overnight – something that very much gives me pause. 

That’s the highly condensed story. But the direct impact and potential impact on our family is still rippling through and sometimes keeps me up at night. Just this morning, I had two Zoom conversations with very prominent child actor agents who are both hoping to add Clark to their roster. 

I’m not going to belabor you with my overwhelming mix of emotions – we can go get a cup of coffee to chat about that sometime (or even better, a glass of wine!). What I will share with you is that this experience, this continued experience, has given me yet another opportunity to put into practice the things we tell each other when life gets shaken up. “God is in control,” or “Trust your gut,” or “Give it up to God”. Or, perhaps the most important bible verse in my life that happens to be framed right next to my bedside:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, 
through prayer and petition, present your requests to God” 
Philippians 4:6

That framed picture has been in my bedroom since I was 17 years old, when a great friend gave it to me as part of a Bible study we were both in. I bet she did not realize then the number of times I would read and reread and reread and stare at that picture in my life! 

I haven’t quite figured out how to rest on that advice, but one day I’m going to figure it out … I know it!

Before Clark and I left for France, I was journaling a bit and kind of talking myself through some of these complicated emotions. Do not get me wrong, this experience has been AMAZING – I’m so grateful and fully aware of how blessed we have been. But that does not negate the ever-present complicated emotions about throwing your child out onto the world stage in such an unexpected fashion. Anyway …

I was journaling through some of my complicated thoughts, and almost immediately in my rambling, I heard a clear phrase pop into my loud and obnoxious brain that was full of worry – “Trust and Enjoy.” It wasn’t subtle. God really does interrupt me – He shoves everything else to the side when He needs to stop the train. Obviously, He knows me pretty well. 

I wrote those words down immediately and then sat and stared at them. Yes. “Trust and Enjoy”. How simple. How perfect. 

I tend to live life one step ahead, and most of the time that step ahead is littered with problems that I have imagined, so I can tackle them before they tackle me. I will not be caught off-guard!!

In that moment, I felt like God was permitting me to step out of that never-ending cycle and to just be present in this amazing moment and to enjoy this gift that has been given to our son and our family. 

Through the whole three-week journey full of stories, I never would have believed … I enjoyed, and I trusted. I used those words to help guide my own words when dealing with a moment of anxiety that overwhelmed Clark one night in France. I was able to say those words in my head and not let his worry become my own. I felt like I truly was able to offer him a mother’s comfort in that moment. As valuable as those words are to my own peace of mind, offering peace to my son at that moment was all the more important.

​Again:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, 
through prayer and petition, present your requests to God” 

I have that verse visible at my bedside every morning and every night, and now I understand that God meant for those words to be recited daily, for all of the moments ahead. He has a funny way of knowing exactly what to say at exactly the right time. 

In His Name, Jenny