Downhill Victory

I have been fighting fear most of my life. As a teen and into my 20’s, my days were controlled by worry and anxiety. My body and my mind were in this never-ending cycle of fear that robbed me of strength, energy, and hope. In my 30’s, I was able to seek out some help and started the long climb out of the prison of fear--one step at a time. I found courage in God’s word, like in 

Bonnie Piovesan

2 ​Timothy 1:7, “For I have not given you a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and a sound mind.”  There were days when ​I would say this verse out loud each time fear tried to take control so I could find the courage to face the fear and win.

​A few things that still cause me fear are heights, going fast, and going fast on a curve. Nothing combines all of these better than skiing. Where else can you choose to sit on something as wide as a popsicle stick and dangle high in the air as you are taken up a mountain? Then the only way down that mountain is to do a series of movements that make you go fast, using curve maneuvers on two more popsicle sticks. Yet I love snow and being outside and I wanted to try something new that I had a feeling I would really like. So a few weeks ago, at the age of 45, I decided to take a ski lesson during a trip with friends to a ski resort in Montana.

Bonnie & her Instructor, Ellen

I made it up the mountain on the lift; I was feeling good and excited to try out what I had learned in my lesson. Then I looked over the edge of the slope--and froze. My old enemy fear was there to greet me. Fear tells us terrible things: “You can’t do it”, “You are not good enough”, “You will fail”, “You will always be my prisoner.” In that moment looking over the edge I felt crushed, and I almost fled in terror as panic swept over me. Then gently, God’s word came back to me, “I have not given you a spirit of fear,” and I leaned forward.  Something welled up in me, and I chose to start​

downhill. I started telling myself I could do it as I curved to the left and then the right. I gained speed and leaned into the fear with more determination, and I told myself I was not a prisoner anymore. I was skiing, and I was full of joy!

I made it to the bottom of that mountain, threw my hands up in the air and shouted in triumph! I did not care who heard me, I could care less what I looked like; I had just won a round with my most-hated enemy! All of the battles against fear came to mind and the reminder that never once did I fight one of those battles alone. God had been with me every time. Fear ran away from my mind like the rat that it is, and I started crying and saying, “Thank you, Father!” God had lovingly met me at the top of that mountain. While fear had been saying hateful things to me, God lovingly reminded of His word and gave me courage to win once more.

Fear can be a devastating foe that attacks our mind, body, relationships, and faith. Fear won’t stop at one thing; it wants all that we are. God has given each of us what we need to fight this enemy. He gives us an abundance of scriptures to lean on. He gives us His Spirit so we don’t have to fight alone. He gives all of this out of love, because He loves us as His precious children.

“For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, ‘Abba, Father’.” Romans 8:15

In His Name,
​Bonnie